It took me ten minutes to assemble the Christmas tree this afternoon, and even less time to regret putting it up as Fargo began launching himself into our four-foot, plastic Virginia Pine and ripping down both my Christmas ornaments. Yes, you read that right– both my Christmas ornaments– as in I currently only have two. It dawned on me that I’ll have to sew one every night until Christmas in order to fill up the tree. The two-foot Christmas tree that I stuck my nose up at is looking more and more appealing.
Here is a closer look at my latest creation:
I was really quite proud of this one, so I pranced into the bedroom, where Jon was taking his Sunday nap. The plan was to shuffle as loudly as possible across the carpet so that it would seem as though he had woken up on his own accord, and then I would sweetly share with him our newest ornament, after which, he would thank me for the wonderful creation. Except that’s not how it played out.
I shuffled indiscreetly across the carpet, and Jon raised his head to look at me. Instead of greeting me with a bleary-eyed stare, he grimaced at me. He may have even snarled, but I didn’t let that deter me. I presented to him our beautiful new ornament, and he responded with, “What is that?”
I was taken aback. I squeaked and scoffed at him, “What do you mean ‘what is it’? I think it’s pretty obvious.”
He continued to grimace at me or just in my general direction and said, “…come on”.
“It’s a sheep,” I said, “It’s a sheep wearing a green ribbon, and I can’t believe you can’t tell”, and then I stormed out of the room and proceeded to send a picture of my sheep wearing a green ribbon to family members (to which one responded with, “is that a snowman’s face?”) and uploading it to instagram for validation that it turned out all right.
Now that I’ve had the opportunity to look at it a little more closely and critically, I realize that I forgot to sew on its legs, so if I’m being entirely honest, it sort of looks like a lumpy little ghost singing Christmas carols.
For the record though, it’s a sheep.
By Golly, Ollie! 
Leave a Reply