By Golly, Ollie!

Some say Valentine’s Day is just a Hallmark holiday– a consumerist holiday to lure starry-eyed suckers into buying over-priced chocolates to prove their love. And to them I say, “if you’re not going to eat those, may I have them?” I shant complain about February 14, and if my boyfriend chooses to love me one extra ounce today, I shall relish in it. Especially since Adagio Tea’s Valentine Tea broke my heart.

Adagio’s Valentine Tea is a blend of black tea, rose petals, natural chocolate flavor, and natural strawberry flavor

I think my tea is an older blend, because the Adagio website says there is also cocoa nibs, dark chocolate chips, and strawberries in this tea, and I have none of that. Woe!

Anyway, Adagio’s Valentine Tea sounds romantic, right? It’s the sort of thing a lover would sprinkle on the floor from the doorway to the couch…for a Harry Potter marathon. Except, any tea lover would get distracted and scoop of the tea leaves and rose petals to brew a mug of hot tea. Most regrettably, Valentine’s Tea would ruin the mood. It smells weird– like a bag of chocolate hard candies. Fake chocolate hard candies. Do you know what is worse than fake chocolate? War, famine, petulance, and generally the end of the world, but not much else! Despite the scent, I still went into this feeling optimistic. I was crossing my fingers that Valentine’s Tea would taste like a chocolate-covered Turkish Delight because I can pound chocolate-covered Turkish Delights (Jon, make note!)

After steeping the tea, I noticed how dark the liquid was. It was as dark as a cup of black coffee, so I became a little nervous. I suspected the flavor would pack a punch, but really it was just a slap of disappointment in the face. It tasted nothing like a chocolate-covered Turkish Delight. Adagio has some great teas, like their Oooh, Darjeeling, but I am not having luck with their flavored teas– Chestnut Tea being the wonderful exception. Most of their flavored teas that I’ve tried recently flood my mouth with bitterness. The aftertaste is alright though…if you’re not offended by fake chocolate hard candies. As for the rose, I was hoping for some light floral notes, but if they are there, they are muddled by the stronger chocolate flavor and the strong, black tea. I even tried to sweeten the deal by adding sugar and milk. I thought that would cut some of the bitterness or mask some of the flavoring, but that just made it worse.

Even though I do not love Adagio’s Valentine’s Tea, a lot of people do. It’s earned a score of 93/100 on Adagio’s website and a 70/100 on Steepster. Proceed with caution with Valentine’s Tea.